vivi torontali

Not caught up? Read Episodes 1-21 here. 

The first Thanksgiving away from New England was bound to cause homesickness. It was around this time last year that my family decided to leave the US. The year before that, I was on top of the world– I was in love, I was in school, and I was traveling the world. Since then, I have lost so much but gained even more. I lost my childhood dog but gained Nudli. I lost many of my possessions to random buyers online but in turn gained a sense of what’s most important. I lost my favorite walking routes but now have a big city as my playground. I lost the mountains but never the inspiration they gave me. I have a tendency to get nostalgic and reflective of the path I’ve walked and how far I’ve come, but this is no time to mourn when there’s so much to be grateful for.

Thanksgiving is a huge holiday in America, especially in Massachusetts where it is commonly believed to be the site of the first Thanksgiving. Contrary to this narrative, it’s been celebrated in a myriad of different ways, hundreds of years before the 1620 Plymouth harvest celebration. If you want the rundown of how this history was molded over time, I suggest you read this article from PBS. It’ll do a better job explaining it than I ever could. My small Hungarian family was never one to celebrate Thanksgiving as passionately as others. Normally we just hygge all day and make the traditional dinner, eat a lot, pack up a week’s worth of leftovers, and hygge some more. This year, my dad and I went to work because we didn’t get the holiday off, while my sister figured out the future of her career and my mom reworked Nudli’s rain jackets because he grew longer over the past year. For dinner: spaghetti bolognese.

There’s a lot my family lost on the way here. We put our entire life’s savings toward the move. We didn’t even have a Christmas tree last year because we sold it on Facebook Marketplace. But we have an advantage not many people have: EU citizenship. As Hungarian citizens, we could seamlessly settle into the country of our choice out of 27 countries in the European Union. I explained how we chose Denmark as our destination in Episode 9: Why Denmark? By living here, we have access to free healthcare, some of the most well-maintained and efficient trains in Europe, free Danish language classes, and affordable(ish) housing. We don’t have to worry about expenses that come with a car, a house, or a broken arm. When it comes to accessing a doctor, we pay in time rather than money. It could take a while to get an appointment, but doctors and hospitals will tend to any issues so long as you make them known. We can mobilize on our well-being now that we broke out of the dysfunctional system we’ve been stuck in for years. My mom can finally find treatment for her foot and I for my jaw. Her asthma has gotten better since moving here due to the better air quality. Our access to public services also means our mental health has improved tenfold.

Moving to a new country also opens doors to new career paths. My dad was a plasterer throughout our life in America, and it took a huge toll on his health. After a carpal tunnel surgery, a rotator cuff surgery, and an open heart surgery, it was time to find a job that’s more sustainable for his health. As an immigrant, he had no mobility– there was no opportunity to find a new job if his current one wasn’t serving him. He is an asset to the plastering world, a field very few people are qualified in. Since the move, he found a job that is less physically demanding and more artistic than previous work. Instead of plastering ceilings, he creates decorations in a studio. All that being said, he isn’t thrilled about his job because the space isn’t in great condition and his colleagues aren’t the most approachable. Our luck now is that he can seek out a different job rather than being chained down to this one forever.

While my mom has yet to find paid work or customers, she’s no longer overexerting herself by cleaning houses every day. It was about time for her to take a break and find a job that allows her to be creative, focused, and seated in a chair. Of course, being unemployed for this long has taken a toll on her self-esteem, but the rest of us are making enough income for her not to stress about finding work anytime soon. She has time to learn the nail business, develop her brand and ideas, and network with potential customers. In the meantime, we’re cheering her on and helping wherever we can, including recruiting our friends as test subjects, making flyers, and creating an Instagram account.

My sister’s career has been growing like crazy. Her business has taken off to the point where she got a job offer from a mentorship program that she couldn’t refuse. She has been working as a business owner and a financial aid advisor while pursuing a Master’s degree. I don’t think she’s taken a day off since she arrived in Denmark. She now has the opportunity to combine her business with her day job and make more money than she currently does. Though she now has to quit the job she worked so hard to get and only started two months ago. Because of her, we’re in a very stable spot. I don’t think I’ve ever worried less about finances in my life, and I couldn’t be more grateful for that. 

As for me, I’m very satisfied with where I am today. My day goes like this: I get on the 7:20 train straight to the center of Copenhagen, then immediately go to the bakery, where I pick up a giant bag full of fresh-baked sourdough bread, still warm from the oven. I hug the bread tightly on my five-minute walk to the café, where I make the perfect cappuccino and sip on it while I bake a banana bread and eat a fresh-baked croissant. If I’m lucky I get to pet a dog or two throughout the day. When one o’clock hits, I make my post-work waffle, my post-work juice, and head home for my post-work nap. If we hit a certain amount of sales in a day, I earn a higher wage for that day. I’ve never made more than minimum wage until now, and it’s incredibly rewarding. When I’m not working on an art project for the café or throwing Nudli’s csacsi (now headless), I work on my illustrations for my upcoming art exhibition. I recently reworked one of my earliest illustrations, Catamount Mountain in New York. Instead of every 50 meter interval, the new drawing shows every 10 meters.

Thanksgiving wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without showing gratitude for my family. I wouldn’t be here without my mom, dad, sister and dog. The more internationals I meet, the more I realize how lucky I am to have my entire family here with me. Even though I’m no longer in my house in Lexington, the people that made that house a home are here with me, ready to start and embrace new holiday traditions. And although I’m further away from my hometown and college friends than ever before, I have the opportunity to establish new connections and see my friends from exchange, who are closer than they’ve ever been. 

Now that you got the long-winded description of what I’m grateful for this year, here’s a list of what I didn’t have the chance to include: art museums, coffee, wine, my high school language education, the internet, my iPad, my espresso machine, my bike, Nutella, Bob’s Burgers, the heat pads I use for my jaw, Adobe Illustrator, embroidery thread, my Rick and Morty Pickle Rick mug, and finally this bløg and everyone who reads it ❤