vivi torontali

Not caught up? Read Episodes 1-23 here.

Last episode you read about my family’s day trip to Malmö, Sweden. I’ve been excited to write this episode because for the first time, my family was able to return to Hungary! My parents haven’t been there since they left in 2000, but my sister studied abroad there in the fall of 2023, and I was able to visit her there for about five days. Lilla had just accepted a new job and as a result was able to fund our plane tickets and some dinners for the weekend while she takes a two week break between jobs. I had to find coverage for three shifts at the café, and we entrusted our neighbors to take care of Nudli while we were gone. We woke up at 4am on Friday morning for our 8am flight to Budapest, where I saw the most beautiful sunrise from the plane flying over Slovakia’s Tatras mountain range. 

Before I begin this riveting story, I must clarify that my family purposely did not inform anyone that we were visiting Hungary. We didn’t want to uproot the Christmas plans of any family or friends by asking them if we could stay over. We also knew that if we were to alert people, we would not be able to see any of the sights in the two days we were there. Instead, we’d be at someone’s house for hours at a time, and we wouldn’t be able to make time for everybody. Rest assured, we plan on returning for two weeks in May, when we will make our rounds with everybody we haven’t seen in many years. We made it a trip just for the four of us, and I’m glad we did.

Day 1: Friday, December 12th, 2025
Walked 8.3 miles / 13.4 km, 20,000 steps

To be completely honest, the whole weekend blurred together due to the sleep deprivation and the constant walking and sightseeing. Normally I am the navigator in the family, but this time I had purposely taken a break from Google Maps-ing and let my sister guide us around. The bus ride from the Budapest airport to the city center was long, and I spent the whole time observing my parents’ reactions to what they were seeing. They recognized some buildings and areas, but were shocked at how “everything has changed!” The sun came out by noon so we were able to enjoy the tourist attractions and Christmas markets a lot more. It was almost as if the sky was saying “welcome home.”

Christmas markets in Hungary attract millions of people every year including us, which explains the vast crowds we experienced all over the city. After we visited the Hősök Tere (Heroes’ Square) we explored our first Christmas market, got some forralt bor (mulled wine), and drank it by the Vajdahunyad castle. After finishing off both my own and my dad’s wine, we went on a quick but crammed metro ride to the Szécsenyi Lánchíd, the chain bridge that connects Buda and Pest over the Danube river. We visited some more Christmas markets on the way to our numerous sightseeing stops– believe me, there were a lot. Down Váci Utca (Váci Street), we visited various souvenir shops, crêperies, and my personal favorites, the Rubik’s Cube shops. If you didn’t already know this, the Rubik’s Cube was invented by Hungarian sculptor and architect Ernő Rubik in 1974, which makes me a huge Rubik’s Cube nerd. My dad taught my sister and my sister taught me how to solve the standard 3×3 Rubik’s Cube when we were younger, and our interest in cubes developed in different ways over time. She collects different kinds of 3×3 Rubik’s Cubes such as speed cubes, keychains, and squishy cubes, while I collect larger volumed versions. I currently own the 3×3, 4×4, 5×5, 6×6, 7×7, bought an 8×8 during this trip, and will receive a 9×9 and a 10×10 come Christmas. After fighting our way through the crowds on Váci Utca, we ended up at my sister’s favorite restaurant, Rostélyos. We were able to enjoy some old favorite dishes such as Halászlé (fisherman’s soup), Hortobágyi palacsinta (meat-filled crêpes, Hortobágy style), and Paprikás csirke (chicken paprikash). We also enjoyed some lovely white wine. It was truly a meal meant for royalty. 

Day 2: Saturday, December 13th, 2025
Walked 10.4 miles / 16.7 km, 25,000 steps

We started off with some coffees made by the hands of a divine creator (a guy with two lip piercings), along with some pastries to prepare us for the day. Afterwards we went to Halászbasztya (Fisherman’s Bastion) which overlooks all of Budapest from the top of a hill. It’s an ancient fortress with spectacular architecture and history, and that day there was a Christmas market with many handmade things, mulled wine, and a guy with a hawk. Because the bastion offered such spectacular views of the Parliament building, the Lánchíd, and other iconic landmarks, everyone in Europe was there at the same time, taking pictures to post on Instagram. The owner of one of the Christmas market stands asked my dad, “Where are you from? I can tell you’re not from here.” He was taken aback, and asked her why she thought so, to which she replied “It’s just a vibe I’m getting.” He may have spent the first 30 years of his life wandering the streets of Budapest, but after 25 years in the USA, he was demoted to a tourist.

When we finished looking at the Parliament from far away, we went on a scenic tram ride to its base. There was a confectionery there which was a bucket list item for my mom, so we stopped for some cakes and more coffee (a little less divine this time). We walked around the outside of the Parliament and onwards to some food markets to buy in bulk what we wanted to take home. All my life I received Hungarian goods from family friends that went on vacations to Budapest, so it was very strange this time being the one to go to the markets and bring home the goods. We got Milka chocolate bars and Túrorudi, which are chocolate rods filled with cottage cheese. We also got sausages and liquors such as Pálinka and Unicum.

That day we ate a lot of smaller snacks, and at the end we were craving some good soup, so we dropped off our stuff and went on our way to a restaurant called 21. We were severely unprepared for the 200+ stairs we had to climb in order to obtain this soup, but we were determined. My legs and feet were absolutely killing me, but the view was nice and the soup was worth it. It was the highlight of our trip for my dad– another meal meant for royalty, and the perfect way to end our weekend trip to the homeland. 

Day 3 (or rather, Day 2, extended): Sunday, December 14th, 2025

There’s nothing like collapsing on my bed at midnight after pulling off 25,000 steps only to wake up at 2:30 in the morning to catch a flight home. The whole morning was a haze, and we ordered a minibus at 3:30 to take us to the airport. The driver made a stop to pick up another couple who had brought six unseasoned, hard-boiled eggs onto the bus to eat. Lilla stayed for another week after we left, so it was just my mom, dad and I heading to the airport. For some reason, TSA always finds a reason to manually examine my things, and they took my nail file away because it was 2cm too long. I’m still furious, I don’t think I’ll ever get over that. When the plane took off at 6am, it was dark, and when it landed, it was still dark. I had never been happier to hear Danish than on the trains home from the airport. To me, it felt more familiar than the Hungarian I’ve been hearing all weekend. Somehow we survived the trip all the way home, where we greeted Nudli very excitedly, unpacked, and collapsed from exhaustion. Honestly, I need a month break just to recover from that one weekend. 

There are a lot of differences I noticed between Budapest and Copenhagen. When I first arrived in Copenhagen, I was shocked by the currency, how something that costs $5 USD = 32 DKK. What’s the point of such a large number for such a small item? Then I went to Budapest, where $5 USD = 1,650 HUF, and realized that the Danish krone makes so much more sense. Another culture shock I experienced was how much cleaner Budapest is than the outskirts of Copenhagen. The buildings in Budapest are crumbling and covered in graffiti when you stray even the tiniest bit away from the main attractions and castles, but there’s still very little trash unlike the Danish suburbs. On top of that, people in Budapest don’t smoke nearly as much as they used to, and not nearly as much as Copenhageners do. It was quite pleasant walking the streets without getting hit in the face with a cloud of smoke and the smell of tobacco.

People in Budapest are more stressed and therefore aggressive, especially on the roads. There are bike lanes, yet no one uses them, and the roads are congested with taxis and station wagons, all beeping at each other and shouting astonishingly creative insults. While I can complain about the Hungarian forint all day, what’s even worse is that one has to pay about 200-300 forint (61-91 cents USD) to use the public bathrooms. I am a firm believer that peeing is a human right and should thus be free, but it seems Hungary doesn’t agree.

On our return hike from the 21 restaurant, we debated whether it’s better to live in Hungary or Denmark. Denmark is much more livable and calm, but there’s more to see in Hungary. You can bike everywhere in Denmark, while in Hungary you’re a lot better off with a car. The transit systems in Budapest vs. Copenhagen are close rivals, but I would say Budapest’s is better. That being said, the names of the stations are a mouthful– while my train line in Denmark goes through stations such as “Vanløse” and “Husum,” The trains in Budapest pass through “Nyugati Pályaudvar” and “Bajcsy-Zsilinszky út.” Lastly, the language barrier is a lot more intense in Hungary– we are very lucky to understand this extremely complicated language, because if we didn’t, we’d have a very hard time adjusting. I never learned how to speak formally in Hungarian, so while there’s only one “you” in English and Danish, the informal “you” in Hungarian is “te” and the formal is “ön.” 

Upon entering a shop on Váci Utca, the clerk asked us where we’re from. We looked at each other, unsure what to answer. Hungary? America? Denmark? In the States, when someone asked my parents that question, they were wondering where their accent is from, and occasionally they’d wonder from what town we were visiting. Here in Europe, they could be asking anything. When the Christmas market shop owner thought my dad wasn’t a local, it became evident how much his identity changed. He grew up in Budapest, lived there only five years more than he lived in the US, built a home in America only to be ostracized and forced to flee, and now thinks of Denmark as a place he lives rather than a home. It was always a source of pride for us to say we were from Hungary because we weren’t one of those Americans who talk about having 1/4 Irish, 1/8 Italian, and 1/5 German blood. We knew where we were from, it was always so straightforward, but seeing everything in Hungary change after 30 years, we’re not so sure anymore.

My sister feels more connected to Hungary than I do, saying she’d much rather have moved to Budapest than Copenhagen. I lived in five different areas throughout my life, so I’m very adaptable and able to build a home just about anywhere, and I’ve been immensely enjoying my time in Copenhagen. I don’t feel as connected to Hungary because I’m the second child raised in America, never having gone to Budapest until I was 20. To me, Hungarian was only ever a secret language between my family, so hearing it everywhere in this one tiny pocket of the world was extremely strange. 

I’m Hungarian-American– 100% of both, not half-and-half, just as Hungarian as Petőfi Sándor and just as American as Sam Adams. And yet, I’m not completely aligned with either one of them. My Boston accent comes out when I say the word ‘matcha,’ but I was teased in fifth grade for saying “aluminium” instead of “aluminum.” My classmates in Hungarian school always talked about visiting the “barlang” over their summer vacations in Hungary, and I only learned that it meant ‘cave’ and not ‘barn’ when I was 15. So what do you think: does my family have one homeland, two, three, or none?